So maybe I need to be done with this whole Facebook thing. I
was reading through some comments today at lunch and found this precious nugget
written by a “friend” from my hometown:(side note, I added the (Obama). Everything else, mistakes and all, are her words.)
“Well anyone that says he (Obama) has brought us all
together blacks (and I am NOT racist), whites, mexians and gays can kiss my
behind because don't put me w/ GAYS! NOT bashing gays because that is there way
of life but I DONT believe in it and don't want to be put w/ them!”
Clearly she is not happy with last night’s election results.
And I whole heartedly believe that she is entitled to her opinion. But when you
feel that you must preface your statement with words like, “I am NOT
racist” or “NOT bashing gays,” well you probably are doing both of those
things. And just so you know, your words hurt. I’m so sorry that you can’t see
past your small-mindedness. That you don’t understand the fact that we are all
Americans, you know…strike that, we are all humans, and should be treated equally and with respect.
I have never understood how my being gay affects other
people or how they live their lives. And further, I don’t understand how the
prospect of wanting to marry my partner of nearly 8 years affects anyone else
other than the two of us. If you’re against same sex marriage I’m probably not
going to invite you to the wedding. So bonus, you don't have to buy us a gay gift. I have plenty of family and friends that
love and support us. And don't worry, I’m not going to ask to be married in your non-welcoming church.
The lighting and decor, is just not our style. I just believe, in all of my heart, that the love that Greg and I share is no
different than any love that any other couple, gay or straight, share. I don’t
understand, how a majority of people can vote on how a minority of people may
live their lives, it just seems so counter to what this country is all about and what it was founded on.
My favorite line about this whole situation comes from comedian Wanda Sykes, “If you’re
against gay marriage, then don’t marry a gay person.” That decision, that legal decision between two loving and consenting adults, just shouldn't
be voted on.
I really hate to use a line from George W. Bush, but I think
it hits the nail on the head about how I feel right now, “You are either with
us, or you are against us.” I just don’t know that I have any more time or
energy that I can spend on people that do not believe that Greg and I are
entitled to a legal civil marriage. And please don’t give me that bull-shit
about how Civil Unions should be just peachy for us. That’s called separate but
equal, and you know that it wouldn’t fly for straight couples. So, have I created a litmus test for relationships in my life? Well, I guess I have. You are either with us, or you are against us. And if you are against us, please go away. Move to Arkansas, where they just voted to ban unmarried couples from adopting or becoming foster parents. That effectively eliminates all gays from adopting, since we can't marry.
As I mentioned earlier, Greg and I will celebrate 8 years
together this December. Many marriages don’t make it that long. In those 8
years, we’ve watched other straight couples meet, fall in love, and marry. We’re
still waiting our turn. How long, dear citizens of Ohio,
citizens of the United
States, will you make us wait?